I would like to start off by saying I am not a fan, I just watched the movies to keep up with current events and still have relevant input in teenage banter (Dont look at me like that).   It starts off with the wedding of “Mr. I have made vampires everywhere seem like pale weenies in the mind of every teenage girl on the planet” and a droopy Bella that almost looks like her character has been on a 30 day binge doing pure Colombian joy powder off a transgenic prostitute’s ass crack with her bridal party, even the nuptials were dated and boring, not even Dave Tutera could have saved this wedding (Don’t ask me why I know that name).     The movie quickly moves to the honeymoon on some Island by Rio (you know like the bird movie where they dance) and then the most passionless love scene accompanied by crap music, I mean its more interesting to watch two flies f#$% on the discovery channel.     Then we see the fastest pregnancy in history followed by a graphic and gruesome c-section (hopefully this will push those pre-pubescent girl fans to abstinence until the next craze)   The only action you see is at the end with a battle that looks like a broadway dance number more than a fight and it culminates with werewolf guy AKA shark boy lmao, having to pick between his pack or to keep stalking the mouth breather (though choice huh). Spoiler alert:   you can also see Edward googleing demon child which was funny, the werewolf is really in love with bella’s baby not her, its some weirdness from the book that I have yet to comprehend, anyway stay away from this movie it seems that they decided to split it up into two movies like the potter series but the only thing that came out was a cliched self parody of a movie that will probably keep its numbers because of the huge following, even though the writing is crap not that the one from the first movie deserved an academy award but geez.   so avoid, avoid, avoid if you can.    

When I first heard about them planning for an Avengers movie my uber geek alter ego jumped up in excitement, but with the excitement also comes the concern for the movie studios to actually be able to spit out a watchable movie with so much going on, I guess they broke it apart into additional movies with Thor, Captain America but I am still no sure if I am more excited or affraid. The trailer for it just came out, I can see Thor, Loki(his evil brother that was suppose to be dead from the Thor Movie), Iron Man by Robert Downey Jr, Nick Fury played by non other than Samuel “Bad Mothaf#$% Wallet” Jackson, Black Widow Played by the amazingly hot Scarlett Johansson, Captain America by Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner (The Guy from the hurt locker) as Hawkeye and the Hulk that if I am not mistaken is going to be portrayed by Mark Ruffalo (Weird).               The movie opens May 4th 2012, Cant wait.  

First of all I am not going to lie to you, the previews did look appealing, even though im still trying to get over the fact that Mattel actually commissioned a movie based on the Rock’em Sock’em robot game which you might remember from golden oldie commercial below.  

    It seems that on Rotten Tomatoes it started with an 80% rating from the critics but it went down to 59% as off this morning while maintaining 79% from the audience, to tell you the truth I do admit that it has some cliche’s in the movie where the boy teaches his childish father a life lesson and there is a complete and total disregard for robotics and the laws of physics, but this type of movie cant be made any other way if you want it to be entertaining, its the same thing I use to tell my friends when I use to go and see schwarzenegger ” You don’t walk in expecting Shakespeare” or to even understand all the words coming out of his mouth, but you want to see things blow up and be completely and blatantly blown out of proportion.   I give it a thumbs up and I enjoyed it for what it is, coming from Rock’em Sock’em Robots I think its amazing. I’m not sure if Hugh Jackman picked the best movie role once again, but I am still a huge fan even though I’ve seen him dance in the theater which brings the Wolverinian persona crumbling down when an tiny version of him dancing and wearing golden pants walks by mocking me whenever I am trying to watch any of his movies. I still say you should risk it and go to see for yourself, don’t expect a major story line, there is nothing new about the story, just the way its told and the Robot boxing of course.  

Kaley Couco Lesbian Love scene?! I mean don’t get me wrong just the idea of it I think would give Adam Lambert a new found craving for female bazingas for once in his life,  It seems that  Mayim Bialik (Blossom for those who have been alive for more than 15 years) on an interview with vulture.com said that it was more likely for her to shoot a love scene with Penny (Kaley Couco’s charachter on the big bang theory) or getting to second base as she put it than it would be for her to actually do anything even remotely steamy with sheldon (Jim Parsons character).     As much as Chuck Lorre likes to push the proverbial line of whats appropriate in sitcoms while still keeping them censor friendly and making them a comercial success I doubt that we will see anything more than the lesbian kiss we witness on the same episode that Amy kisses Sheldon.   Im not saying I am a Chuck Lorre fan at all, seeing the first couple of episodes of two and half men and all it is dated escandolous antics  and every possible cheap shot that they can dish out directed towards Charlie’s deseased character leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth that might make you cringe a little bit more than Barbara Walters Saying the “N word” on national TV. BTW the “N Word” is not ninja. and what better way to say adeu than to leave you with gratuitous shots of hot girls wearing awesome geek shirts:        

The Douchebag Jar Steals the show in Fox’s new comedy “The New Girl“. I read a comment that caught my attention about Zooey Deschanel’s new show “The New Girl” a guy in his sixties saying that he had to change his depend (Adult diaper for those who are unfamiliar) that she made him laugh so hard. All I noticed was that everybody forgot to mention what I thought was the highlight of the show The Douche Bag Jar, which was the only part that actually stopped me from taking freshly peeled active electrical cables and shoving them into my eye sockets,but I digress lets get back to talking about the jar, the guy offers her some tea bag action and he has to put a dollar in the douchebag jar, everytime you say a douchebag thing you need to put a dollar in the jar,  Some offices and dormrooms could use a couple, right? Apparently it struck a cord with some people that it was worthy enough for somebody to start a facebook fan page for it. As far as the show goes, this might be my soon to be 30 years old cynicism talking, but its just another shot to hell cliché feeding pop cultures new appendix (The brain) in the intellectual wasteland which is prime-time tv this days. And dont get me wrong I am a huge Zooey Deschanel since I saw her in Mumford and Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy,  I love the character awkward, unsure of herself, really attractive girl with the nerdy glasses complemented by Zooeys  blue eyes, creamy white skin and her trademarked raven bangs (stalker like even), I just don’t like the setting of the show and you can actually tell that it was written for a female audience and the occasional metrosexual that enjoys a cosmo and watching Sex and the city, and this target audience seems to be growing every day but all and all I give it a “Cut off my thumb and bleed to death rating”, meaning look for something else to watch in my opinion.    

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