
Total Recall 2012 Teaser
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
WTF? The Expendables 2
I dont know, Im a big action movie fan but the first one was steaming pile of Schwarzenegger dung, no story, no action, a lot of big names but it sucked, and Mickey Rourke looked bizarre even for him. For fuck sake stallone I know you brokered this deal and got everybody together to do this movie, I am not expecting Shakespeare but come on don’t fuck up another action movie with all this names.
If not we might need to make a reality show about hunting down Stallone and beating him senseless with all his overpriced gym equipment and erecting a new statue instead of the rocky one we can do one of him bent over with dumbbell up his ass.

The Expendables 2 Movie Poster

Chuck Norris Expendables 2
Breaking Dawn Review
I would like to start off by saying I am not a fan, I just watched the movies to keep up with current events and still have relevant input in teenage banter (Dont look at me like that).
It starts off with the wedding of “Mr. I have made vampires everywhere seem like pale weenies in the mind of every teenage girl on the planet” and a droopy Bella that almost looks like her character has been on a 30 day binge doing pure Colombian joy powder off a transgenic prostitute’s ass crack with her bridal party, even the nuptials were dated and boring, not even Dave Tutera could have saved this wedding (Don’t ask me why I know that name).
The movie quickly moves to the honeymoon on some Island by Rio (you know like the bird movie where they dance) and then the most passionless love scene accompanied by crap music, I mean its more interesting to watch two flies f#$% on the discovery channel.
Then we see the fastest pregnancy in history followed by a graphic and gruesome c-section (hopefully this will push those pre-pubescent girl fans to abstinence until the next craze)
The only action you see is at the end with a battle that looks like a broadway dance number more than a fight and it culminates with werewolf guy AKA shark boy lmao, having to pick between his pack or to keep stalking the mouth breather (though choice huh).
Spoiler alert:
you can also see Edward googleing demon child which was funny, the werewolf is really in love with bella’s baby not her, its some weirdness from the book that I have yet to comprehend, anyway stay away from this movie it seems that they decided to split it up into two movies like the potter series but the only thing that came out was a cliched self parody of a movie that will probably keep its numbers because of the huge following, even though the writing is crap not that the one from the first movie deserved an academy award but geez.
so avoid, avoid, avoid if you can.
The Avengers Movie Trailer 2012
When I first heard about them planning for an Avengers movie my uber geek alter ego jumped up in excitement, but with the excitement also comes the concern for the movie studios to actually be able to spit out a watchable movie with so much going on, I guess they broke it apart into additional movies with Thor, Captain America but I am still no sure if I am more excited or affraid.
The trailer for it just came out, I can see Thor, Loki(his evil brother that was suppose to be dead from the Thor Movie), Iron Man by Robert Downey Jr, Nick Fury played by non other than Samuel “Bad Mothaf#$% Wallet” Jackson, Black Widow Played by the amazingly hot Scarlett Johansson, Captain America by Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner (The Guy from the hurt locker) as Hawkeye and the Hulk that if I am not mistaken is going to be portrayed by Mark Ruffalo (Weird).
The movie opens May 4th 2012, Cant wait.









